Chapter Eight- Control Freak- April 9th 2018 1:23pm

Funnily enough, just after writing this a Facebook friend posted this on her page; 

‘Friendly reminder that “doing your best” does not mean working yourself to the point of a nervous breakdown’.

 

I’m not a control freak.

Well I don’t think so.

I’ve been thinking about my employment history, and am quite sad that I am not friends with many of the people I have worked with previously; even if we seemed to be really close at work, they’ve all vanished.

But I’ve also noticed a pattern.

I don’t want to admit or show it, but yes, I am a PUSH OVER! And do this unintentionally.

I tend to run myself into the ground and do other peoples jobs for them. I am guessing this is why they kept me around as a work friend.

When asking someone to do his or her own jobs, I get labelled as bossy and controlling.

Sometimes, I wish I were one of those people who didn’t care about my job; that works at my own pace. No care in the world.

I’m 26 and felt burnt out by the time I was 22. I have been working since I was 13 and every job I’ve had, I have felt overworked and my motivation and dedication has been abused. Not only has this had a toll on me physically, but has effected me on an emotional level too.

Currently, I work part time. Most days, by the end of my shift I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I don’t know how I did this in the past working on full time hours, or how anyone who is a push over does and not feel the strain.

People fucking suck!

I have always found it extremely hard to ask for help when I have felt suffocated.

Do I have a right to feel this way?

Am I actually working that hard?

Or am I over exaggerating?

Sometimes you just have to suck it up.

I think.

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